Eyelash Horror!

I was watching telly the other day and a commercial comes on advertising an eyelash enhancer.  It wasn’t just your usual thickening mascara.  No, apparently this stuff makes you grow more eyelashes!  So there I am, munching on a crumpet, and there’s this lady prancing about, fluttering her eyelashes at the camera with a smug smile.  Meanwhile the voice-over is telling me all about deficient eye-lash growth and how I no longer have to feel embarrassed about poor, thin eyelashes anymore.  

Which would be a relief, except that up until that point I had actually not been at all worried about the state of my eyelashes.  I was happy  just slapping on a coat of volumizing charcoal mascara , content that my eyelashes were up to standard.  But no, apparently, that may not be the case!

So now I put down my crumpet and dash off to the bathroom for a quick look.  And as I’m peering at myself, and my possibly inferior quality eyelashes, I’m thinking:  is it not enough that we have to worry about the size of our stomach, the firmness of our upper-arm, and cellulite in our thighs?  Do we not have enough to work on trying to get our hair shiny, our boobs pert and our pores clear?  Is it not enough that we have to buff our backs and scrub our chins?  That we detox our rank insides by drinking foul-tasting tea and eating fat-free yoghurt? And that we use up half our salary on vitamins and spa treatments, and spend so long exercising that we sweat ourselves into a frenzy and scare the local dogs?

I mean really – can we not just be content with our piddly, insignificant EYELASHES?  

I go back into the TV, the voice-over is telling me that this new revolutionary eye-lash producer is now available in my local pharmacy.  Seriously?  Could the beauty experts, the serious looking men in white lab-coats, just not leave the eyelashes alone and give us just one, small area that is worry-free?  Apparently not!

Bye y’all!