Archive for ebook

Coming Soon…

Posted in blogging, chick lit, comedy, creative writing, ebooks, fiction, humor, life, personal, romance, self publishing, Uncategorized, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2011 by Ella Slayne

…an interview with CALLUM DOHERTY!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes you hear right people!  Hunk of HUGE proportions (ahem!): Callum Doherty is going to be answering some of YOUR burning questions right here on this blog! 

Questions like: “What’s it like to date Josie Jenkins?”  (Are we still dating in fact? Ooh a topic for book number two perhaps???)  

Or:“Is it true that you refused to take Josie to the movies again after she sobbed so loudly during Love and Other Drugs you were thrown out?”

And: “Do you prefer Josie with or without her Spanx?”  (Hang on a minute! Who put that in there?…  Can we cut that one out please?… Callum is NOT going to answer that ok?!)

If you have a burning question for Mr Doherty all you have to do is leave it in the comment box below and Barbara Walters (I mean Ella ) will gather them up into a probing and revealing interview!  (Not too revealing I hope – yikes! Can I just say Callum, that the farting episode in Neiman Marcus is off limits! OK? OFF LIMITS!)

Bye Y’all and get those questions in! 😉

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A New Update – Josie Jenkins in hospital!!!

Posted in blogging, chick lit, ebooks, fiction, humor, life, personal, self publishing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2011 by Ella Slayne

We meet Fran Peters again, standing outside a hospital this time, looking concerned, she turns to the camera and begins to speak.  There is a man standing next to her, he is wearing a white doctor’s coat and had a stethoscope around his neck.  He looks at his watch impatiently.

Fran: “Good morning and welcome to News At Five Morning Update.  I am standing outside Forster’s Medical Center in Dallas where it appears that Josie Jenkins was admitted in the early hours of this morning.  With me now is Dr Drummer who apparently treated Miss Jenkins and can give us an update on her condition.”  Fran turns to the Dr Drummer, while her expression is rather grave, he looks a little irritated.

Fran: “Dr Drummer could you explain to us what happened this morning?”

Dr Drummer: “Yes, this morning Ms Jenkins drove herself to the Emergency Unit, convinced she was in the middle of a heart attack.” His tone is rather dry and he looks at his watch, obviously pressed for time.  “After she was examined, it became apparent that she was merely having a mild panic attack.”  Fran gasps.

Fran: “Can you tell us if Josie, I mean Miss Jenkins, is going to be ok?” She turns to the camera. “What was the cause of this… panic attack!”

Dr Drummer(not hiding his frustration): “Ms Jenkins is going to be perfectly fine! In fact she is enjoying a plate of smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, from our a la carte menu, at the moment.  The panic attack, actually hysteria might be a more appropriate word, seems to be a, rather pronounced, reaction to the fantastic review Molly at Reviews By Molly gave her book High-Heels And Slippers today.  Apparently she was overwhelmed by phrases such as: “A fantabulously, laugh-out-loud, AWESOME debut novel!” And “I absolutely, with out a doubt, recommend this story with 5 Books … for a fabtasterrific debut from a truly talented author!” (You can read the full review here: http://www.reviewsbymolly.com/2011/12/chicklitplus-blog-tour-review-high.html).  This caused her to hyperventilate, which she mistook to be the early signs of cardiac arrest.”

Fran: “Oh my! That must have been an awful experience for her! Dr Drummer will she be traumatized by this?”

Dr DRummer: “No.  In fact I think the other patients who have had to listen to her wails and sobs are more likely to need treatment for shock than Ms Jenkins.  Now, can I go? There is a man in C ward waiting for me to insert a catheter, poor guy hasn’t been able to pee for days.”  He turns to go without waiting for Fran’s reply. We hear him mumbling as he leaves “I’m trying to run a hospital here guys!  This isn’t TMZ!”

Fran (trying to talk over him): “Thank you Dr Drummer.  I’m sure everyone is pleased to hear that Josie Jenkins is going to be ok!” She sort of cries out the last bit, overcome with emotion, then tries to regain composure to add: “This is Fran Peters for News AT Five, about to go and buy a big bunch of flowers for Superstar Josie Jenkins!” She grins madly at the camera. We hear a rather loud, angry yell of “CUT!” The screen goes blank.

 

The problem with self-help books…

Posted in blogging, chick lit, ebooks, fiction, humor, life, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 5, 2011 by Ella Slayne

I was watching Nanny PcPhee Returns the other day (I know it’s a kids’ movie but it was on telly and I had nothing better to do … besides Emma Thompson reminds me of home). Anyway at the beginning, when Nanny McPhee has just arrived and is trying to explain her appearance to the bunch of unruly children, she says something along the lines of:

“When you need me but don’t want me, I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, I must go”

And it occurred to me that the same thing could be applied to self-help books…

I think self-help books have a fundemental flaw: the people they target are the people least likely to actually pick one up and read it. I mean when you’re down in the dumps, your focus is usually wallowing in your own self-pity. You’re not usually receptive to some positive bright spark advising you on how to “Gain Control of Your Gloom” or “Walk Over To The Sunny Side of the Street”. No, because it just makes you feel worse, even more of a failure. You look at the picture of smug self-help book author and you weep, because next to them you look like a worthless drip! You read one chapter of their book and end up snivelling into a chocolate bar.

It’s like when Simon Cowell was on American Idol and he used to say to the contestants: “The only thing stopping you from winning this competetion is you!” And the poor wanna-be pop star would just stand there blinking back the tears. I mean come on Simon – how on earth is that helpful? You’re basically telling the poor sods that they’re ruining their own chances just by being themselves which they can’t do anything about!

It seems to me that we are most receptive to positive thinking when we are already thinking positively! So we should make a point of stocking up on our self-help reading when we feel we don’t need it, in the hope that it will carry us through the glum phases and then hopefully we, too, stand a chance of becoming an AMERICAN IDOL! Well not really but you know what I mean…although just so you know, I’m am actually quite good a karaoke

Bye y’all!

BOOK UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in blogging, chick lit, ebooks, fiction, humor, life, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2011 by Ella Slayne

HIGH-HEELS AND SLIPPERS IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR THE NOOK EREADER @ BARNES AND NOBLE – ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CLICK THIS LINK APPARENTLY: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/high-heels-and-slippers-ella-slayne/1032259453?ean=2940013128569&itm=1&usri=high%2bheels%2band%2bslippers

Also Ella has asked me to mention that if you do not have an ereader DON’T PANIC you can still read my story (if you want to that is!). All you have to do is go to http://www.smashwords.com and download it for your computer (which I assume you must have otherwise how on earth are you reading this blog?)

Phew – all this marketing stuff is exhausting! Can somebody hire a PR person please? I need to sit down…do we have any muffins?…Is it too early for white wine?…

Bye y’all!