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Designing Death Masks

Posted in blogging, fiction, humor, life, personal, Uncategorized, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 9, 2010 by Ella Slayne

I read an article recently on death masks and I’ve decided I want one.   I mean, what a perfect way to stay immortal and make sure that you’re nearest and dearest don’t forget you?  

Except I’m not going to wait until I’m dead, because chances are that at that stage in the game I will not be in my prime – I mean after all I’ll be dead – it’s hardly one’s best look is it?   No.  So I’m thinking about having one made now, while I’m young (relatively) and I’m going to smile so that I look cheery because who wants to be the kill-joy in the corner of the room huh?  I mean you don’t want all the rellies to say “Oh look there’s Aunty So-and-So, she was a right grump?” And then what if, in like say a hundred years from now, they take your death mask to Antiques Roadshow and the expert says “Oh yes this is an old death mask worth a bob or two, shame she’s such an ugly old trout!”  On National Television – mortifying! 

So I’m thinking that one’s death mask’s value would be greatly increased with a smile. 

Oh and I may ask the artist or sculptor  – or whatever you call the people who make death masks (apart from weirdos obviously because lets face it, it is a bit strange to make a living taking casts of dead people) – to plump my lips up a bit and perhaps just iron out the wrinkle on the top of my forehead.  And actually if they could just  make me look a bit more like Nicole Kidman that would go down well… it wouldn’t take much really… even out my chin a bit … and maybe lift the eyes a tad….Now where’s the Yellow Pages?

Ah. There doesn’t appear to be a section for Death Mask…what a pity.

 Bye y’all!

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