Archive for cafe

A bit of a monk on!

Posted in blogging, chick lit, ebooks, fiction, humor, life, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2011 by Ella Slayne

I don’t know if you are aware if the above phrase but let me just tell you it sums up my position at the moment pretty accurately!  It may be just a Northern thing but we tend to use it when someone is having a right old proper sulk…and that’s me at the moment.  Why so sullen Josie? I hear you cry.   Well I have been completely and utterly neglected of late.  You may have noticed that my blog posts have been few and far between.  It’s not been of my choosing but that of my creator, Ella Slayne, who seems to have been way too busy to stoop so low as to give me a voice over the past couple of weeks! 

Why so busy? Well apparently she’s been organising the High-Heels And Slippers book launch party and that, as well as attending various Halloween festivities (it’s alright for some – she is munching a Reese peanut butter pumpkin as we speak) has kept her somewhat aloof!  I have been cast aside in favour of venue hunting, invitation printing and high-heel shopping (I can partly understand that though because the lure of a good pair of high-heels is hard to resist).  

I appreciate that all this takes time but lets just take a moment to remember who the star of the show is here? ME!  JOSIE JENKINS! I am the heroine of the novel for goodness sakes and so it would seem wise and perhaps just a tad polite to give me some airtime during this whole book signing thing wouldn’t it? I mean, if it wasn’t for me there’d be no excuse for a new pair of Poetic Licence heels from Nordstrom would there? No!  There would be no reason to seek out a rather fashionable French patisserie in which to host a book signing do would there? No! And if it weren’t for me, there would be no point in inviting guests to come and enjoy tasty high-heel shaped cookies while milling around and waxing lyrical about women’s fiction would there? No!  

So all I’m saying is, Ella, when you’re schmoozing at your book signing don’t forget who got you there in the first place! Humph!

PS: and by the way, you’re never going to fit into that black dress if you keep eating fun size milky ways! Double Humph!

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Loo De-Stress

Posted in blogging, fiction, humor, life, personal, Uncategorized, writing with tags , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2010 by Ella Slayne

OMG!  I just had to share this with you.  I’m not sure if Ella has mentioned on this blog yet, but I have a bit of a thing about loos, or restrooms!  It’s definitely in the book,  so I won’t bore you with too many details but the fact is that loo cubicles can be a source of stress for me. So much so that it can seriously halt my ability to pee in some situations.   I have an issue with door locks you see.  The worst are those kind which you lock using the door handle and then they automatically unlock when you open the door – I prefer a bolt because then there is no risk of thinking you have locked to the door, only to find out when someone walks in on you that you haven’t!  Doesn’t bear thinking about really!

Anyway I went to a cafe this morning for a bit of a sit-down and slurp of coffee, as you do, and inevitably upon leaving said establishment, I nipped to the loo.   My first thought was oh no, this loo cubicle is too big for me to ram the door shut with my leg and so I made a quick assessment of the door lock.  To my UTTER JOY I found that the owner of the cafe had made a sign, with diagrams, explaining what the lock looked like when it was locked and unlocked.   What a fabulous idea!  And it was handmade!  Some dear person had taken the time to draw a picture of the loo-lock and so save people like me from the stress and worry, and possible embarrassment, of being exposed while on the loo!  And quite frankly, every loo should have one – it should be a requirement just like those employees must wash their hands signs.

In fact the whole set-up was pretty nice actually, soft loo-roll, a nice wide hand-basin and one of those subtle hand driers that doesn’t mess up your hair as well. Yes they’d done a pretty good job – except for the lack of soap.  There was just an old bottle of AlmondWipeAwaysoap,  which was empty.

Anyway the sign more than makes up for that!  I still can’t quite over it and I’ll tell you something, I’d like to shake that person’s hand – providing they hadn’t just been to the loo of course!

Bye y’all!