Archive for June, 2011

An explanation of Zen.

Posted in blogging, fiction, humor, life, personal, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 8, 2011 by Ella Slayne

So looks as if blogs are going to be a bit on and off over the summer as apparently it’s harder to focus when you’ve got three children running around the house – well this is what Ella says, but personally I think that’s a bit an excuse…I mean it can’t be that hard can it? All you have to do is stick kids in front of the TV right? No? Oh.  Well all I’m saying is she seems to be spending a lot more time hanging out by the pool now that the sun’s come out!

Anyway as a way of filling in the blogpost-gap Ella has decided to leave us all with a profound saying to mull over.  Can’t say I’m too impressed but, like I’ve said before I don’t get much of a say in the matter.  I’m not knocking Zen or anything…in fact I’ve contemplating dabbling in a bit of Buddhism ever since I saw Julia Roberts looking just a bit stunning in Eat Pray Love.  That’s the way to wear a tunic!  Mind you, you can carry anything off with legs as long as hers!    

Anyway here it is:  

 “Zen is like looking for the spectacles that are sitting on your nose.”  

Zen saying.

Okay … seriously is that the best you could come up with Ella?  How am I supposed to think of something deep to say about that?  I wear contact lenses for goodness sakes!

Bye y’all!

A Hairy Fantasy!

Posted in blogging, fiction, humor, life, personal, Uncategorized, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 7, 2011 by Ella Slayne

So I wouldn’t usually share one of my fantasies with you guys – after all they’re private right?  I mean who would want to share such an intimate thing with the whole world via the internet?  Not me that’s for sure  – although actually I have no say in the matter because it’s up to Ella and quite frankly she seems to have no concern whatsoever telling the world all my private details!

But this is a fantasy I don’t mind sharing – although I’m not suggesting anyone tries to do the whole psychoanalysis number on it! 

At the moment I am having a fantasy of walking down the street in shorts and extremely hairy legs.  Actually not just hairy legs, hairy armpits too!   In my fantasy I am walking freely, hair sprouting forth on my limbs at the amazement and admiration of all who pass by.  I can hear them gasp at the wonder of my downy legs and bushy underarms. I feel no embarrassment.  No! In fact I feel like a goddess. A cilial-covered goddess!

I think my fantasy has something to do with the arrival of summer and the need to de-hair regularly all of sudden.  Not that I don’t de-hair during the rest of the year – obviously I do – but let’s face it, it’s a lot easier to hide a few days leg hair growth under a pair of long jeans isn’t it? 

But now it’s swimming season and so the pressure is on to have smooth, soft, hairless skin again.  I know I shouldn’t feel that I have to slap on the Nair or haul out the Gillette.  I mean I know that whether I have hair on my legs or not does not define my beauty.  And even though my rational head tells me that there shouldn’t be a difference between men and women’s collection of bristles, my gut instinctively seems to say otherwise.  I tried the natural look, years ago when I was a student (and single coincidentally)  but it didn’t last long before I was ripping it all away with sugar wax from the BodyShop.   The truth is though that even though it is completely natural for women to have body hair and I just don’t feel comfortable exposing my fuzz! 

But it is such a drag!!!!!!!!!  Isn’t it?  Keeping up with hair removal is a bore and continual hassle – not to mention embarrassing – as anyone who has endured a bikini wax knows – and let me just say those paper panties do not cover up a thing!  It is truly a mortifying experience trying to continue a conversation with one’s beautician while one’s practically naked bum is stuck up in the air! 

Needless to say I’m already longing for Autumn’s return when my bristles and I can hide away behind cardigans and trousers again.  

Bye y’all!