Archive for January, 2011

The Golden Globes

Posted in blogging, fiction, humor, life, personal, Uncategorized, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 26, 2011 by Ella Slayne

Ok so I’ve been trying not to mention it because I decided that it would be too predictable for me to blog on the subject of the Golden Globes but I can’t hold out any longer. 

I don’t want to talk about the dresses, although Catherine Zeta Jones looked absolutely fabulous in bottle green which is a feat in itself if you ask me!   I’m not going to mention the actual awards themselves, I will say though that I’m rather thrilled the lovely Mr Firth picked something for The King’s Speech – is it me or is it he aging rather well ladies?

 I’m not even going to dwell on the fact that apparently my invitation got lost in the mail and let me just tell you they definitely don’t let you in without an invitation –  burly security men everywhere!  

What I do want to comment on is Ricky Gervais’s controversial hosting of this recent event.  I know I’m not the only one weighing in on the debate, it’s all over the place! Was he too offensive?  Did he go too far?   How did he lose all that weight?

Watching on TV,  I was wincing with best of them.  I felt bad for all those Hollywood stars shifting about uncomfortably in their chairs but then I thought hang on a minute – they are HOLLYWOOD STARS why on earth should I feel sorry for them?  Their entire careers are built around self-promotion and they have the most unbelievable perks (like free make-up and let’s face it, the best hairdo’s), they are paid an exorbitant amount of money and surrounded by a team of people paid to massage their over-blown egos. 

There they are, sitting in designer dresses, eating the finest food , drinking jolly nice wine at great expense, all because they made some great movies which is fair enough, except that it’s not as if they discovered a revolutionary cancer drug is it?

And now, all of a sudden, they can’t handle a few clever, if a little cutting, jibes?  Yes Gervais wit is harsh and unforgiving – that’s exactly why they hired him!  Otherwise you get some brown-nosing minor celebrity which makes the whole thing, quite frankly, cringe-worthy.  Not that it would stop me watching it or anything – I mean Johnny Depp in a suit who’d want to miss that?!

At a time when many of us regular folk are losing our jobs (well not me actually I’ve just been promoted) and struggling to make ends meet (better not mention that I just treated myself to a new Chanel handbag),  is it not fitting that the stars of Hollywood are cut down to size a bit?  I mean after all we’re all made of the same stuff aren’t we? Well maybe not because now’s a good opportunity for me to say that I’ve never had Botox or a boob job. 

My point is that even the Queen of England has to suck it up sometimes – and she’s…well Royal for goodness sake’s.  It’s the price you pay for fame as all us celebrities know! Ahem.

So now the very famous actors with their inflated egos are all upset and hurt.  Well they’ll have to get their act together soon because the Oscars are right around the corner – oh it’s a tough life!  Actually come to think of it, I haven’t received my invitation for that either…ooh I must go and call the post office…

Bye y’all!

Update

Posted in blogging, fiction, humor, life, personal, Uncategorized, writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2011 by Ella Slayne

So I thought my New Year’s Resolution was going pretty well until someone told me that you can overdose on water and end up in hospital.  Obviously as I had been drinking litres of the stuff, I was a bit concerned.  So I began substituting the bottles of Evian with big mugs of coffee.   Which was great actually…until someone at work told me that coffee doesn’t count! Humph!  Not sure why  – I mean it’s made with water isn’t it? 

Anyway, since then I’ve been sulking and substituting my coffee with Green Tea which is yuck  if you ask me, so I have to put a tablespoon of honey in it to make it palatable.  This means that I’m now consuming much more sugar than I did before and most likely will put on weight and develop diabetes.  So that rather overrides the whole point of trying to be healthy by drinking water in the first place doesn’t it?

And this, I feel,  just goes to illustrate why New Year’s Resolutions are a pretty bad idea!

Bye y’all!

Aha!

Posted in blogging, fiction, humor, life, personal, Uncategorized, writing with tags , , , , , , on January 6, 2011 by Ella Slayne

I’ve found a New Year’s Resolution!  And I am going to share it publicly with you all on the blogosphere…

(Please imagine a fanfare of trumpets.)

From this day forth I, Josie Jenkins, will…DRINK MORE WATER! 

Yes I will force myself to down pints of the stuff in hopes of detoxifying, purifying and…enrichify (that may not actually be a real word) my body. 

I can see it now…in a year’s time I shall have the clear pale skin of Gwyneth Paltrow, the curvy-yet-toned body of Beyoncé and the long silky locks of Jennifer Aniston.  I shall be a complete babe  (or come to think of it, will that combination look a bit strange?) and all thanks to the humble glass of water!  Seems simple enough…in fact I have already drunk a whole litre bottle of Evian (only the best for me).

The only drawback is that I had to stop at three gas stations for a pee, on the way to work today, and ended up being forty-five minutes late – the boss was not entirely happy… 

Ah but it’s a small price to pay for Hollywood glamour methinks!

Bye y’all!

New Year’s Resolution

Posted in Uncategorized on January 3, 2011 by Ella Slayne

Oh the pressure!  It is only the very beginning of January and I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked if I have any  New Year’s Resolutions.  It’s so difficult to think of anything, other than the predictable, lose weight, exercise more and drink less – and after trying those nearly every year, and failing, since my teens, I’m loathe to try them yet again.   So at this point in time, day two of 2011, I have to admit to being resolution free  – eek!

Anyone got any ideas?

Bye y’all!