Josie’s “Do’s and Don’t’s” When You’re In A Funk!

A funk can hit at any time but usually strikes at least once a month for us ladies!   Here’s a list of some of the do’s and don’t’s  I like to use to help me navigate my way out of the hole.  


Eat chocolate – there is a reason our ancestors harvested the cocoa bean – this is it!

Drink wine – preferably alone because no-one likes a grumpy drunk.


Eat pasta or bread – when in a funk it is impossible to exercise portion control –  burning off a truck load of carbs is a daunting task and will most likely send you into another funk!


Make an official complaint about something – it is incredibly cathartic.

 Have a pedicure – it’s amazing what painted toes can do for a person!

Surround yourself with flowers – hang the expense! NB:  try not focus on the fact that they will most likely wither away and die in a week.


Go shopping.  I know the urge to go on a spending spree during a funk is strong but YOU MUST RESIST!  Such reckless spending will most likely lead to a closet full of ill-fitting or unsuitable garments destined never to be worn and forever hindering your goal of achieving the illusive capsule wardrobe.  (Does anyone actually own one of these?)

DO, however:

Go into shops and spend time rearranging the clothes.   By that I mean transferring all the “SMALLS” to the back or really high up racks and moving all the “LARGE” and “EXTRA LARGE” to the front.  So satisfying!

Buy a ton of vitamins supplements.  Understand that the value of vitamin supplements is not whether they do actually work but the fact that we think they might!


Go to the park – it will only make you feel worse to be around smiling, energetic people looking fit and happy.  Also parks generally attract children – IMPORTANT: women in funks should be kept AWAY from children.


Read self-help books – so that you can smirk and sneer in disgust – it will make you feel a whole lot better.


The good thing about a funk  is that it usually passes – eventually!

Bye y’all!


4 Responses to “Josie’s “Do’s and Don’t’s” When You’re In A Funk!”

  1. Machelle Grimes Says:

    “Josie, Josie, Josie,” she said with a smirk while slowly shaking her head.

  2. Gosh that was quick – I guess you’ve been having Josie withdrawal symptoms! 😉

  3. Definitely one of your best, Josie. I nearly snorted my diet coke over rearranging the sizes on the clothesrack!

  4. Thank you Rachel – I can only hope my words of wisdom can reach at least one poor soul out there – this is the work we celebrities do and a burden I’m happy to bear!

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