Another Award for Highheels And Slippers!

   

 

 

“And the Happiness Award goes to…Josie Jenkins and Ella Slayne for Highheels And Slippers!”  (The audience applause wildly.  When they have quietened down the host, who is wearing a tux and looks just like the ravishing Hugh Jackman, continues.) “Unfortunately Josie Jenkins couldn’t be here with us tonight and so here is a video message she recorded for us earlier today.”

Video image of Josie, sitting in a TV studio that has been made to look like somebody’s living room. She is wearing a black low-cut dress, her face heavily made up with TV make-up and she is sitting on a beige armchair with paisley scatter cushions.  There is a small table next to her with a glass of water and vase of tastefully arranged flowers in creams and blues.

“…Am I on? …oh right…(She flashes big smile to camera.)…Hello everyone.  (Another big smile) I am so sorry that I cannot be there to accept this award in person…(shifts slightly in her chair with obvious excitement) but as luck would have it, I am here in Chicago waiting to appear on the Oprah show!  Or at least that’s the plan – I could get usurped by Tom Cruise if he talks too long – which is very possible as he has an even bigger tendency to ramble than I do!  (She glances off to camera) They’re in the other studio right now, plush chairs, real audience – the works!  There’s no expense spared here I can tell you.  But then that’s what you’d expect from Oprah isn’t it?  I mean she’s top-notch.

(Someone coughs and a golden statue in the shape of a butterfly is thrust into Josie hands.)  Oh yes…the award!   Which is obviously more important than silly old Oprah! (she turns to camera looking worried and whispers) You can edit that out right?  (She turns back to camera and holds  up the award.)  I am so thrilled to be accepting this award for Highheels And Slippers! It is a great honour for me, and Ella of course, because she doesn’t get out much, except to take her kids to karate or piano practice… and possibly the odd date night.  So really for her it is a HUGE deal. (Big smile to camera – it is a tad patronizing.)

So what makes me happy?  Erm…being asked to go on Oprah for one!  YAY!  And finding one lone tea-bag in the bottom of the box…staying in pyjamas all day long… going to the gym and finding that I can run for twenty minutes without feeling as if I’m about to throw-up!  Oh and being asked to go on Oprah!  Did I already mention that?  (Giggles to camera.)

I must say a big thank you to Hema at http://hemapen.wordpress.com/   for nominating me.  (Smiles) Thank you Hema for all your support.   (Drops smile rather abruptly) You have won so many blog awards now, it’s very kind of you to share.

And here it is:  the Happiness Award!  (She lifts a gold statue of a butterfly up to the camera.)  Although why they use a butterfly as a sign of happiness I do not know…I have always thought butterflies were rather sad creatures…I mean they start off as a lumpy caterpillar, with no figure to speak of, and then when they finally make it to the designer look, they’re about ready to kick it aren’t they?  The average butterfly only lives about a month!  So perhaps they should call it the About To Kick It award!   Only joking!  (Flashes a celebrity type smile to camera.)

(Assumes deadpan expression) But seriously,  it moves me to tears (she dabs eyes for effect) to think that Ella and I  may in some way have made you happy.  And we hope to continue to make you smile or even giggle from time to time. 

Thank you so …(suddenly Josie turns off camera) What’s that?…She’s ready now? You mean Oprah?  Oh my God!  (Josie discards the golden statue on the sofa and starts frantically puffing her hair, she stands up and begins to walk off before being yanked back by her mic lead)  Oh! For goodness sakes can someone get this thing off me? (Yells in rather an inelegant way) I’m about to go on BLOODY OPRAH!  (Two people rush in and remove the mic, Josie pushes them away and walks off)  I’m ready….”

(Back to the dashing host, looking a bit uncomfortable) “That was Josie Jenkins accepting the Happiness Award for Highheels and Slippers!”  (There is a quiet, stilted ripple of applause and someone coughs.)  “And so moving on to our next blog award, the I Never Knew That Before Award! Which goes to…”

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4 Responses to “Another Award for Highheels And Slippers!”

  1. Congrats on another win, Josie. Much deserved 🙂

  2. Oh thank you! Would you like a signed photo? Only joking! …Although maybe …

  3. Josie, enjoyed knowing what makes you tick, even though I keep forgetting that you’re only a figment of Ella’s fertile imagination!! And having been rightly chastised by you, I have sent another award your way, in case Ella neglected to inform you of this… Uh-oh, did I let the cat out of the bag? Was she going to spring it on you as a pleasant surprise? Oops!

    • Hema – Oh my goodness another award – I am beside myself! No Ella has not mentioned it to me yet but I think that she feels this celebrity status is going to my head. Can’t think why…oh hang on a minute I think I have a call coming in, could be my agent in LA…

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