Highheels and Slippers receives the Fabulous Sugar Doll Blog Award!

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The following is a transcript of Josie Jenkins’ recent acceptance speech:

“Oh gosh!” Bashfully smiles to audience. “Really thank you so much.  I am truly honoured.” Gazes at award and swishes skirt of designer sequined gold dress. 

“I’d like to thank the Academy…I mean WordPress.com for recognizing the blogging industry and providing a forum where we are free to blog.” Emotional sharp intake of breath. 

“I’d like to thank Ella Slayne, of course, for creating me and giving me a voice.” Fights back tears. “Thank you Ella – you are my world…literally…” More skirt swishing with added hair fluffing.

Oh gosh honestly I just didn’t expect anything like this!  Wow!  Erm…I’d like to Jai Joshi at the Tulsi Tree for giving me this wonderful award.”  Calls out. “Where are you Jai?”  Peers out to audience, squinting under the bright lights. “Don’t be shy…I see you!” Waves at someone in the audience, blows theatrical kisses.  “Thanks babe!”  

 There is a pause. Josie wipes tears from her eyes.  Ushers are on stage anxiously waiting to escort her away, in the background, music begins to play.  Josie is oblivious to these cues and in a rather Dame Edna Everage sort of a way,  looks directly at camera. 

“But most of all I’d like to thank my fans, because without them, I’d just be a nobody floating around in blogging cyberspace  – so to all my fans I’d like to say thank you.” Patronising smile to camera.  “Thank you for making me a somebody, a somebody with Hollywood hair  and a Vera Wang dress – even if it is only for one night.  Apparently Julienne Moore is wearing this at some charity do next week and they need a few days to take it in.” There is a small cough as Josie strokes her stomach.   

“Really this has been the best day of my life! If you don’t count the one when you-know-who asked me out on a date.  Oh I forgot you don’t know about that yet – you’ll have to wait for the book!”  Ushers move closer.  “No really I am so grateful – though not as grateful as I am to Vidal Sassoon for making the best hair de-frizzer I’ve ever found or to my local supermarket for stocking Cadbury’s Curly Wurlies!” The ushers are now moving in and look aghast as Josie continues.

 “Oh and I also want to thank my best friend Becky – I know you’re watching at home –  who was kind enough to lend me her Revitalizing Rescue Face Pack last night after I found a spot forming on my nose.  That stuff really works. You can’t see it now at all.” She rubs finger over tip of nose.  “There’s just a small bump.  Amazing really because it looked like it was going to be huge!”

The ushers finally move forward and swiftly take Josie’s arms.  As she is escorted off the stage Josie cries: “Thank you!”  And then turns to the ushers, forgetting she is wearing a mic: “Do I get to sit back next to Ryan Seacrest now?  He’s even better looking in real life isn’t he?”

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5 Responses to “Highheels and Slippers receives the Fabulous Sugar Doll Blog Award!”

  1. Soooo funny! 🙂 Felt like I was right there in the audience, Josie. You deserve it!!

  2. Honestly Rachel it was such an amazing event – champagne, canapes and celebrities all over the place! The only drawback was not being able to find a taxi to take me home – must admit I did accidently climb into J-Lo’s limo by mistake but her bodyguard was very efficient at pointing out my mistake. In the end had to walk most of the way which was not easy in 5 inch heels! Talk about blisters, I’ve got a corn the size of Fiji on my left foot! That reminds me, must go and find my Pistachio Foot Food Cream…

  3. Kathleen Says:

    Well Congratulations Josie – what a surpirse! Well deserved though since you obviously put so much effort into keeping your audience informed. Thank you for taking the time to keep us up to date with your experiences, I’m sure we can all learn something from them.

  4. Congratulations, Josie — you *are* a doll! Btw, loved the last line you blurted into the mic forgetting that it was still on :-).

  5. Well done, Josie! If anyone’s a sugar doll it’s you, babe.

    Jai

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