A Conditioner Crisis!

I recently treated myself to a new hair shampoo and matching conditioner. It’s one of those ones that you can’t buy just anywhere.  You can only buy it in beauty spas and hair salons. Such exculsivity makes it terribly expensive and also somehow means it will have much better nourishing and volumizing properties than any of its cheaper competitors.  It’s strange isn’t it, how when you’re standing in the bright lights of the supermarket aisle it seems completely silly to spend $28 on a sea kelp enriched shampoo – somehow it wouldn’t  look right next to the deli-sliced ham and value pack loo roll –  but when you’re in the dimly lit spa, listening to the dulcet tones of Enya, having just had a Deep Cleansing Facial Mist, spending nearly $100 on hair products seems the only sensible thing to do?

So far it seems pretty good; smells nice, makes my hair feel soft  – which is a huge feat in itself because as I may have mentioned before my hair is prone to dry frizz.  There is a small problem however. 

The directions on the bottle of conditioner state very clearly that you have to leave it on for two minutes before rinsing off.  Which, quite frankly, has added a bit of stress to my morning routine.  I mean two minutes is pretty difficult to time in a shower – there is no clock in my bathroom and I do not wear a watch, waterproof or otherwise.  I use my phone for time-keeping which is most certainly not waterproof – I know this because I dropped it in a puddle once and it conked out on me. I had to buy a replacement in the end because even drying it out in the Texas sun could not bring it back to life!  Thank goodness I only buy the cheapest model VirginMobile has to offer, the stress of having a pricey cell would be too much for me to handle.  

Oops I’m rambling… so back to me, in the shower, with luxury conditioner on my head, trying to work out whether it has been there for two minutes or not.  There are things you can do to pass time of course, shave legs, exfoliate with a bamboo body brush or even do a quick mid-shower squeegee (see Feb post, Succumbing to the Squeegee) but how do I know if they take two minutes or not?  I’ve never timed such activities, obviously, and what if I accidently leave it on longer than that?  Will it start to burn my scalp?  Will it begin to over-condition perhaps?  And is that bad for my hair?  Then there’s the problem of not leaving it on long enough?  Does that mean I am not taking full advantage of all it’s super-conditioning sea kelp properties?   Am I then washing away all the goodness of the ocean down my hair-matted plughole?

Honestly, if the stuff has to be so expensive because it’s scientifically formulated, couldn’t the experts have spent a bit of time formulating it so it doesn’t have to be left on for two minutes – can’t be that difficult can it? After all they apprently worked out how to hydrate and condition every individual hair follicle

I wonder if I should have just bought a big bottle of Frizz Control Pantene instead…

Bye y’all!

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5 Responses to “A Conditioner Crisis!”

  1. One of the many conundrums of being a woman, Josie! Sigh! It’s not easy, is it?

    • No it’s not easy being a woman but then I’m not sure how I’d cope with dangly bits between my legs either and I’m not so keen on chopping wood – so happy to stick with what I’ve got thanks!

  2. What really gets me, Josie, is trying to decide if they mean two mintues from when I first put it on or two minutes from when I finish putting it through all my hair?

    Jai

    • Oh I know! Don’t the people who write the blurb on the bottles think about these things? I mean you can’t just put a flippant “leave on for two minutes” – we need more details! Is it better to do roots first or the ends? Should one comb it all through, like they used to do at the hairdresser’s? It is truly perplexing!

  3. Kathleen Says:

    It’s been refreshing to learn that I am not the last person to encounter this problem. I have found that two minutes is just long enough to hone in on perfecting an upright Pilates exercise.

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