The curse of the crocheted cardigan!

Before I say anything else, let me just clarify that I am a big fan of the cover-up cardigan.  I have plenty stashed in my closet, of varying colours and styles, collected from many shops and have to admit that I am prepared to pay a substantial amount for the prefect design.

The beauty of such a garment is, of course, it’s ability to transform fat-arms-dumpy-chick in sleeveless dress into curvy-sex-goddess – even the stars use them, so I’m in good company!  The silk/chiffon variety  is indeed the best friend of a chubby upper arm in the summer and it’s woollen counterpart, a vital part of any winter wardrobe.

BUT beware the crochet cardigan for it is a wolf in sheep’s clothing!   A point proved to me, oh so clearly, when Edith came to work the other day.   I don’t know how old Edith actually is, noone in the office does – it seems to be a closely guarded secret – but she is a granny –  and so her arms, it has to be said, do need a lot of cover-up.    I don’t wish to sound unkind or anything, after all I am a couple of decades younger than she is and my arms are already definitely better when clothed, so…I sympathize.  

Perhaps I should fill you in on where I work – Harpers & Green: a mail order shirt company, supplying quality classic shirts to the rich and famous.   I manage the customer service team – as well as, recently, other more executive tasks (eek!) –  and the lovely Edith is head of our Faults Department. When I say head I’m exaggerating – she’s actually the only member of our faults department – we’re a small company – I think the correct term may be boutique.  Hope that’s not giving too much away  –  there’s more about all of that in the book!

I’d always thought, hoped, that as one ages, one becomes aware of which bits are sagging, which bits may need specific wardrobe attention, which areas of the face need plucking  etc  and so, one can tend accordingly.  Well apparently not – this became obvious when Edith came to work the other day wearing a lemon vest top with a cardigan of the crocheted variety and so  – and here’s my point – offering absolutely no upper-arm cover-up at all!  Why not?  Because crocheted items are full of holes!  Therefore providing plenty of opportunity for visible flesh –which in Edith’s case was rather wobbly and wrinkled, and so just a little off-putting when coupled with my morning coffee.

I don’t blame her- I have made the same mistake myself.  It took me a while to resist the temptations of the crocheted cardy.  You see the problem is, that the overall effect, dupes those willing to be duped.  You try it on, look at the stylish three-quarter length sleeves, the just-below-bum length and coquettish little kick out at the back – all very flattering indeed – making it easy to miss the fact that, clever detailing aside, your arms are still exposed, their flabbiness apparent for all to see! 

Edith, in a crochet cardigan, is a catastrophe, a disaster of great style proportions and I am left with an unsettling conundrum: should I tell her? Or just let it go, knowing that she will, no doubt, subject herself to this dreadful style no-no on other occasions?   To tell or not to tell that is the question…

Bye y’all!


4 Responses to “The curse of the crocheted cardigan!”

  1. LOL — Oh, Josie! Where do you get these blog-ideas? 🙂

  2. So many sweet, fashion challenged grannies in the world….gotta love ’em.

  3. I can identify with the shortcomings of the crochet cardy having recently donated mine to a charity shop. After reading this I’ll be choosing my cardys with care!

  4. Josie, I know just what you mean!

    Just the other day I saw a lady wearing leggings. You know how they’ve become fashionable again all of a sudden? Well, they’re fashionable in Europe and India anyway. So she’s walking down the road in these grey leggings and to top it all she’s wearing a denim jacket that only goes down to her waist! She’s got her bum and hips and thighs on clear display.

    Normally I wouldn’t care or have anything to say about it except that this time it wasn’t pretty. Some people should not wear leggings and if they are going to wear leggings they should not wear short jackets! It was horrible.

    I faced your dilemma. Should I tell her? I mean, if I was walking down the road displaying something I really shouldn’t be displaying I’d want to know, right? But would SHE want to know? That was the dilemma. In the end I kept my mouth shut. Let her family deal with it, I thought.


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