Succumbing to the squeegee!

I have finally bought one of those squeegee things for the shower – goodness knows how you spell it though!

It wasn’t my intention to buy a one – I was really looking for a deluxe shower caddy, in which I could stash my Intensive Cleanzing Clove shampoo,  Lustre Loving Kiwi conditioner and  Invigorating Lemon Splash body wash.  I am, after all, a self-confessed sucker for toiletries!  If the bottle said hedghog wee had purifying properties, I’d buy it!  

Anyway, my current shower caddy is the kind you have to stick on with a plastic sucker and it has the most unnerving habit of falling off, at random and without warning – usually in the middle of the night – causing me to have a minor heart attack on many occasion. 

So, I found myself sauntering around the vastness that is Bed Bath & Beyond,  scanning the shelves for any kitchen/bath must haves whilst on the hunt for a shower caddy that could stand on its own two feet – or rather chrome effect stand – in the corner of my shower cubicle – thus avoiding any midnight scares!  

And as I looked over  the blurb on a Snuggletoes Foot Warmer, which claimed to heat my toes “right to the bone”  – slightly unnerving –  I had the unfortunate luck to attract one of those stalking shop assistants!  It began with: “Hi, how are you?”   To which I smiled and replied: “Fine, how are you?”  – because I am a well-brung-up sort of  lass.   Then I swiftly picked up my pace in the opposite direction, hoping to lose her.   I headed towards the bath mats and, while pausing momentarily to look at some essential-oil antique-look wax burners, I noticed that the shop assitant was hovering.   I made eye contact and in doing so, was doomed. 

Gwen – as her handy name badge revealed -was smiling at me and offering to help – I was rather distracted by her huge mound of hair, which looked as if it had been sprayed with a whole can of Elnette, and her make-up, which looked as if it were applied in the dark – she put me in mind of an eighties soap star  – like the reflection of Joan Collins might look  in one of those distorting mirrors you see at the fairground.   I’m not even sure if that makes sense but I think you might be able to get the gist of what I mean!

The lovely Gwen guided me through the ins and outs of bathroom accessories but was somehow unable to locate a shower caddy.    Instead she  found me a $9 squeegee which I didn’t actually want but am assured, was essential for optimum bathroom cleanliness

There is something odd about standing in a shower fully-clothed, so I decided to save time and use my squeegee at the end of my shower instead.  However, squeegee-ing your shower-glass, naked, is even more odd.  And incidentally, not something anyone else should ever witness.  Especially if you have perfectionist leanings and are intent on squeegee-ing  all the shower-glass top and bottom – need I say more?

And while performing this bizarre task on a regular basis,  it’s occurred to me that the people I see happily going about their day-to-day business, fully clothed of course, sauntering down the aisles of the supermarket or in the queue at Starbucks, these same people probably squeegee their shower glass, naked,on a regular basis as well!

As a result of being bombarded with these unwanted, slightly off-putting images, I have decided to take a break from squeegee-ing and will  – rather recklessly – let the water marks  build up on my shower glass as they once used to do.  Consider it a sort of self-help therapy!

I do, of course, still need to find a new shower caddy but am afraid to go back to Bed Bath & Beyond for fear that I will meet eighties-hair Gwen again and have the image of her squeegee-ing her shower glass imprinted in my mind forever!

Bye y’all!


4 Responses to “Succumbing to the squeegee!”

  1. Don’t stop using the squeegee, just keep your mind blank!

  2. LoL, Ella!! I completely get what you mean by the image from a distorting mirror. And loved the whole sqeegee-ramble!! I also may have some idea of where you gleaned the whole “hovering” shop-assistant theme from :). Look forward to more Josie-isms.

  3. I’m with you on being a sucker for toiletries, especially anything “anti-wrinkle” or “anti-cellulite” (does that actually work for anyone?) but have to say I’d draw the line at the hedgehog wee 🙂

  4. Emily Fairman Says:

    Oh Josie, I’ve done that very thing, and when pregnant and couldn’t lean over my bath, cleaned the bath naked with a squuejeey type thing, then couldn’t get up, as it was too slippery so had to shower the bath and myself down before getting out – stank of CIF for a whole day.

    Think there is Josie in us all. Thanks for ‘bringing her out’. Have clicked my ‘notify’ button for fresh missives. Love Emily x

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