Josie Jenkins At Large!

Now, when I say “Josie Jenkins At Large” – I want to clarify that I mean metaphorically speaking – I’m only a dress size ten,which apparently, is a national average so while I’m not exactly of supermodel proportions, I’m not a hippo either!

So what I mean by at large is sort of a here I am kind of thing I suppose. Except I’m not actually real, I’m a character created by Ella Slayne – this new writer – who chose to write a whole book about me! Hugely flattering of course! Although she’s in the middle of rewrites at the moment and still yet to get the thing published – in fact it hasn’t even got a proper name – but it will be great…you know…when it actually comes out. I hope. Otherwise it could be incredibly embarrassing and I’ll be left here on this blog as a nobody who appears to think they were a somebody once when in fact they were just a wannabe/mighthavebeen person.

It’s also a tad invasive if I’m honest – she knows me warts n’all which isn’t always a good thing! So while this blog is supposed to promote the book, I have to say there is a small part of me – well tiny really – that hopes it fails miserably because there are just some areas of one’s life you like to remain private, if you know what I mean?! However the bigger part of me is just desperate for the Oprah interview of course and now that she’s leaving telly, the pressure is really on. So Ella – don’t let me down here!

Sorry I’m rambling a bit – I do have a tendancy to veer of topic! I have a feeling it must be incredibly irritating and so I’m ever grateful for the smattering of people in my life so far, who put up with me and my rambles – Becky, that one goes out to you baby!

So back to this blogging thing which is completely new to me and to be honest I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing! Which is why there is no photo or anything on here yet – I am going to have dig something out but could take me a while to find anything suitable – in general I don’t tend to be photogenic -I blame it on my frizzy hair but the odd chin pimple doesn’t help either!

Actually I’m a bit of technophobe – so the chances of me ever working out how to post a photo, are slim. I’m the type of person who rarely even sends texts because it takes me so long to write them -usually with no punctuation or spaces. But, they tell me that blogging is all the rage – OMG I sound like my Granny – so I agreed to go along with it!

Anyway, it ocurred to me, when I was indulging in a lovely homemade geranium and parsley bath soak – got the idea from a Herbals At Home book my Mum gave me for Christmas – most of the stuff in it is total crap, like the recepie for an oatmeal and mustard facepack – I don’t even like mustard with my steak, never mind smeared all over my face, so am certainly not trying that one – but the bath soak is actually quite nice and as I already had an old bottle of geranium essential oil knocking about and a bag of parsely in the freezer, I thought: why not? An unsightly skin irriation, due to misreading the quantities of essential oil, could be one reason but I won’t dwell on that… after all the sunflower oil and wheatbran cream seemed to help…it’s amazing what you can find in the kitchen cupboards.

So, as I was saying, it occurred to me that – and I apologise if this is stating the obvious for all the seasoned bloggers out there – blogging is a sort of an online diary. You write down all your personal thoughts and observations – like how it worries me that President Obama’s hair is already loads greyer since he became President and that the same thing happened to Tony Blair, who started off as a bit debonair and handsome too but eventually began to look as grey and wizened as the rest of them – politics saps the life out of you, it seems – so you write this sort of thing down but instead of using a glistening chrome Paperchase pen with matching notebook and tucking it in the drawer of your bedside cabinet, you put it on the internet for anyone and everyone to read! It’s like the introvert/extrovert’s dream really!

I’ll shall have to go in a minute – I put the kettle on and am gagging for a cuppa – a Brit through and through, I’m never far away from a cup of tea. Thank goodness for the international aisle at the local supermarket, I’d be lost if I couldn’t get my PGTips! And after living here in the States for over ten years I simply cannot get the hang of iced tea, not even in the summer – all that cold liquid makes my stomach blow up like a balloon!

A Englishman in New York – that’s what I suggested for the title of the blog – except that I’m not a bloke, I’m female and I’m not in New York – unfortunately – I’m in Texas – which apparently is quite a bit different from New York – yeah so not really the best title!

Which is probably why Ella plumped for High Heels and Slippers instead sums me up. By day I’m a Company Executive – even if it is only temporary – wobbling around in high heels and by night sofa-snuggler in fleece-lined slippers – because if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s cold feet!

Not sure how I will end these blog entries – I like the idea of developing some kind of catchphrase – you know like famous comedians do – although the only one I can think of right now is from the bloke who used to be on Crackerjack and say: ooh I could crush a grape! Not really the level of sophistication I was aiming for.

On the other extreme I suppose I could sign off newsreporter style: This is Josie Jenkins for High Heels and Slippers saying goodnight. But that’s not right either.

So perhaps I’ll just use that good old Texan phrase I’ve grown to know and love: bye y’all!


9 Responses to “Josie Jenkins At Large!”

  1. Hi Josie,
    Well I’ve read your first blog, but not yet read the book draft … I’m seeing stuff closer to home than anticipated… I guess I better read the book draft quick before it gets to print… (get me a lawyer someone!…)

    ‘im indoors (Ella’s husband)

    Jan 30th

  2. From Hema:
    It is wonderful, Ella!! You know I love Josie, so of course, I love this blog!! And the name is so apt(it’s SO Josie).

    Sorry, Josie, even though I love you to pieces, guess I still think of you as an appendage to Ella. But that should change soon enough with this blog, mark my words. Admit it, Josie, even though you say otherwise, you’re hoping in your heart of hearts that this blog, and hence you, is a smashing hit, aren’t you?

    Way to go, Ela!! 🙂

    Jan 31st

  3. FRom Emily:
    Hello Josie/Ella, am thinking that there is something of Josie in us all – well definitely in me anyway. All that indecision and being ‘open’ for stuff, but also mistrusting and knowing that she might be right, but doubting it, cos her hair is a bit frizzy and she’s never quite sure if (as Woody Allen said, quoting Groucho Marx) ‘I don’t know if I’d want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member’. Rock on Josie, I want to see you published. Love Emily x

    Jan 31st

  4. FRom Rachel:

    First off, LOVE the name!!

    Second, must commend your bravery Josie, allowing Ella to put you out there like this! As I’ve always thought myself to be a likewise lovably neurotic kindred spirit of yours, I know how anxious you must be feeling about your sudden lack of privacy…but with Ella I know you are in good hands.

    Third, way to go Ella!! Looks great 🙂

    Jan 31st

  5. From Jai Joshi:

    Josie, I love the blog title and I love you. I also hate cold feet. So you rock those slippers, girl.

    As a Brit in Texas I feel for you. We’ll be in touch!


    Feb 2nd

  6. Wow! I feel I have known you for years, Josie. Can’t wait to see that book in print.

  7. hey Ella, i wanna know more, seems like the kinda thing i cudnt put down, please send me more!!!!!

  8. East Side Says:

    Ella, I love your character Josie!! I can’t wait to read the book draft. I am an avid reader and Josie has grabbed my attention right away. Can’t wait to hear more!

  9. Josie's mum Says:

    Josie Jenkins is my daughter’s second name. I wonder if I’m going to regret that!!!

    I’d better keep reading the blog.


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